There were no in-betweens; you were either everything or nothing. That night, you were breaking windows in a Florida October storm, taking everything in your way, and I was the only one standing there.
You were a fucking tsunami of atomic energy. A rocket that flies away and vanishes into nothing. You were a “One-of-a-Kind” experience-
all-encompassing, ephemeral, paralysing, hollow, and fleeting
You were present, but you were never truly present.
I attempted to comprehend what you were saying. You, on the other hand, were too preoccupied to notice. You were preoccupied with figuring out when your next opportunity to flee would present itself.
I tried to convince myself that it happened just once per new moon. “You had things under control,” I attempted to argue with myself.
YOU DON’T HAVE IT.
I wanted to be the one who made you happy. You, on the other hand, were too far gone to notice.
Numbing is the only thing that makes you happy. A temporary high is the only thing that brightens your face. Your eyes, on the other hand, are dead, and you avoid anything that threatens your development.
You can see how we vary in that regard. You escape reality by escaping to alternate universes where you are free of duties and consequences. Because it is more convenient for you. But every time you try to shelter yourself in a storm, I hear echoes of your anxieties, and it’s searing.
You’re now flitting, disappearing, and intermittently meandering across my thoughts like a broken promise.
What you didn’t realise is that you can’t turn up half-heartedly. You can’t pretend to be present when you aren’t. You can’t talk about the future if you don’t know what’s going on right now. I stopped believing in myself because my entire being wanted to believe in the words you stated. Because we can’t hold on to what’s difficult to retain, energies tend to grow heavier immediately before they release.
I’ve been through a lot of storms, but you were a Typhoon.
Next blog will be out soon.Desai Thoughts MEdia.
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