How to Quit Fixating on Someone! (Part 1)

I have seen and known a lot of people who have felt obsessed to people or things and it has always led them to a path that has spiraled down on them. Obsession takes you to a place where you have never been before. It can ruin you and your relationships. Obsession is bad not just for you but for everyone around you.

How to break the obsessive cycle and why we get obsessed!

Have you ever met someone and almost immediately developed a complete obsession for them? You may be unable to stop thinking about someone who you have recently had a few dates with or interactions with.

You hardly even know them, but you can’t resist the magnetic draw you feel from them. Some people could fall into the trap of believing they’ve discovered “the one,” their soulmate, twin flame, or whatever else you want to call it. We’ve all heard that when you meet the right person, you just “know,” right?

Well, yes. The obsessive loop cycle, however, is not often an indicator of that because there are many other causes involved.

Let’s examine why we develop obsessions with particular persons and how to end the cycle of obsession.

The majority of the choices we make and the emotions we feel are actually puppets controlled by our subconscious. Though you might not have easy access to old memories, your subconscious never forgets. We often find ourselves drawn to people who remind us of difficult former relationships, whether they be with a parent or significant other, because the subconscious is largely motivated by the need to repair past trauma.

The amount of information you learn about someone when you first meet them goes well beyond how gorgeous you think they are. You observe their posture, movement, gestures, tone of voice, how they look at you, and other physical cues. Sometimes, on an unconscious level, we identify something in another person that sets off a reaction in us that makes us want to cling to them.

You could be drawn to this person subconsciously in an effort to move past the pain of the past. It makes the argument that if you can make this person fall in love with you, all of the hurt from feeling unloved as a child would go. Unfortunately, things rarely work out like that. Instead, you find yourself perpetuating the same behaviours and experiencing the same outcomes.

We often become fixated on people because of what they stand for in our minds.

Let’s take the scenario where you were the ugly duckling in middle school and nobody was interested in you, making you feel like an ugly, undeserving loser. Now that you’re an adult, you can discover that you become fixated on every attractive individual who shows even the slightest interest in you. And it’s more than simply an attraction. It’s because you believe that if you can win this person over, it will make the ugly duckling inside of you go away and prove that you are no longer that person.

Some folks are simply validating, too! If the person has virtually unlimited options for partners, you can develop an obsession with them because if you can persuade them to select you, it will indicate that you are also on their level. It will imply that you are deserving, significant, successful, and that everything will be well.

Losing yourself in someone else is much simpler than gathering oneself together.

Not only in relationships, but all the time, we do this. Your enjoyment may be subjected to situations far more easily… I’ll be content as soon as I reach a number of goals, such as losing X pounds, saving X dollars, purchasing a home, getting the job of my dreams, and so on.

In actuality, doing this frequently indicates that there is something wrong within, and instead of correcting it, you attribute the problem to an outside source.

For instance, it is simpler to ask yourself: What does he think of me? Is he fond of me? Is this the one for which I have been waiting? Instead of, Do I like me? Am I happy with my life? Even so, am I prepared for a committed partnership?

Who wants to perform the introspection and internal effort required to respond to the later set of questions? We would much prefer have our true love intervene and, with one perfect Hollywood kiss, make us all whole and healed.

When we get smitten or fascinated with someone, we create an idealised image of them in our imaginations without even realising how far from reality we have become.

This is particularly simple to accomplish when the other person is uneasy with us or rejects us. They must be a rare and expensive jewel, which makes us desire them even more, we assume.

When you have an obsession with someone, you are pursuing a dream rather than the real person. You’re pursuing the ideal of what it will be like to win this extraordinary creature over to you.

Furthermore, when you develop an obsession for someone you hardly know, your mind fills in the blanks and you end up constructing this ultimate entity who may possibly not even exist or let alone be wearing a mask around you.

Next blog will be out soon.
Please share this blog, like it and comment what you feel about it!

Desai Thoughts MEdia.

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