You favoured me. I enjoyed you. Even if it was simply to the bedroom, it looked like our relationship was going someplace.
Even if they weren’t prepared for a relationship, I’ve had females sleep with me. Girls who slept with me have afterwards decided they don’t want to be friends with me.
In the worst situation, I believed you to be one of those females. I hoped that we would eventually date.
You didn’t do one of those things, which astonished me when you left. I’ve always struggled to understand what you expected of me, and now that you’re gone, my confusion is worse than ever. I had a gazillion questions racing through my head.
I’m not sure why you flirted with me for such a long period. I’m not sure why you said I was lovely, why you placed your lips against mine, or why you led me to believe you were attracted to me while making no more moves. If you didn’t want to date me or have a sexual relationship with me, what was your ultimate goal? What you gained through flirting with me is unclear to me.
It should be a relief to know that we never shared a bed. I should give you credit for being one of the nice females who left before you trampled all over my heart and caused me to get too connected to you. Even though I respect your politeness, I’m still perplexed by you.
I was saddened by the girls who slept with me and left the next day, but I could understand them. All they wanted was my body. They simply needed me for the evening. They made the decision to move on to the next individual after they had obtained their goals. They played with my emotions, but as they staggered out of the blankets, they revealed who they really were. They made it quite plain why they were leading me on.
But you continue to be a mystery. I’m still attempting to understand why you first appeared interested in me. I’m not sure whether another female came by and managed to grab you from beneath me. Or perhaps as you came to know me more, you began to dislike me due to my craziness. I’m not sure if you were unwilling to progress from friend to girlfriend or if you didn’t believe I was worthwhile the effort. About a number of things, I’m unsure.
We never shared a bed, but that’s not an issue. Regarding that aspect, I have no complaints. I’m relieved that you didn’t continue to mislead me. I’m pleased you didn’t use me before you went.
I simply wish you were more forthcoming with your thoughts about me. I wish I didn’t still have so many unanswered queries. I wish I knew what you expected from me and the reason behind your eventual change of heart towards me.
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